"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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