What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
