remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
