either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
