guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
