My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
