This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
