I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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