im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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