i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
