You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
