this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
