I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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