She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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