Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
