we're blogging at a bar
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we're making bets on your personal life
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
