I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
