Sponge bath it is.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
