i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
