I can't watch pbs sober anymore
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
