It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
