Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
