I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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