I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
