im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
