member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
