If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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