I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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