And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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