Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We need to get me chipped asap
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
