At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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