For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
