He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
