The maid of honor just puked.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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