Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
