After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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