By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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