Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize