8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
