Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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