If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
