If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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