Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
