There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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