I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
