party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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