Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
