So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
