i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
