I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
