Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
