I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
