boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
