dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
