im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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